Big Changes, Slowing Down and Focusing on the Important Things

I'm not sure I still have any readers after not posting for approximately 6-mo., but hello to everyone who has stuck around!  This post is what's on my heart and may be a little sappy, so you're forewarned :)

Our lives have changed so much since the birth of our daughter, Liv Carolina on November 3rd.  There is much less free time and rest around here, but there is much more love, joy and contentment than I could have ever dreamed possible.  She has brought such light into our lives, and everyday I just look at her in awe.  I find myself staring and soaking up every detail of her - tiny fingers and toes, her daddy's eyes when she laughs or smiles her open-mouth grin that I can't get enough of, baby-soft skin and grey-blue eyes that look at me with such love it literally hurts.  It blows my mind how quickly she grows and changes every day.

I have also changed a lot since becoming a mother.  I don't have it all together, but I'm okay with that.  Slowing down and living more simply has been refreshing.  I spend much less time on social media and worrying what everyone else is doing, and more time focusing on my family.  It's been quite freeing honestly not keeping up with everything and everyone all the time.  I try not to stress too much about my house being perfectly clean/neat (who am I?!) or feel the need to have my to-do list checked off every night before bed.  I spend my days off playing, rocking, feeding and holding this baby girl.  I let the unimportant things come after spending time with Brandon and Liv.  I remind myself daily that in 10 or 20 years I will never wish I had cleaned more or folded that pile of clean clothes rather than rocking Liv to sleep or watching a show with Brandon after she's in bed.    

I am more aware of how sacred and fleeting time is and how much wonder is in those little eyes when figuring out something new.  Being present has become a conscious effort of change for me.  Knowing this could very-likely be my only experience giving birth and raising a baby has made me so thankful and aware of my time as a mother.  I held her non-stop during my maternity leave, letting her sleep on my chest as much as possible and guess what, she sleeps just fine in her crib ;)  I wouldn't trade that time for anything; feeling that tiny newborn snuggled up against me.  That is perfection.  We rocked her or walked her around to sleep every night for months, and we still do if she lets us, and most nights she falls asleep on her own just fine now.  Those are sweet, sweet times in the dark breathing the silence and weight of her in my arms.  I love that bonding time with her.  Witnessing her first time rolling over and then sitting up, seeing her expression when tasting food that I made her for the first time and watching the gleam in her eye when her daddy sings her songs  - these are the things that fill my heart.

The Lord is so good, and I am so undeserving.  All the years of waiting to become her mother were part of His plan, and although I wasn't always happy about that, looking back I am thankful for the process.  God was preparing my heart to love and trust Him fully - the years of waiting were not wasted!  This happy, lively, spirited, sweet girl, well God knew she was coming all along.

Stay tuned for an update our adoption process soon!